2/08/2005 06:00:00 PM|W|P|Sasidhar|W|P| Third day at hostel and I realised that all my plans were doomed. I had fought with my parents, lied like no one had lied before, to come to this place, in hope of a life I didnt have when i stayed with my parents. Not that I didnt have fun at my parents place, I mean I did, in the most unhappening kinda ways. I had friends, I went for dates, I went for movies, I went on weekend treks, I did what most guys staying with their parents could manage. I wanted more out of life. Come on, I was this 19 year old who, as any 19 year old would confess, wanted to get more out of life than it was on offer. I felt something was missing, something that others my age were getting, but i was being denied. There was this void, this big void, it was more like Grand canyon in between the left and the right side of my brain. I figured thats what was causing all the confusion in my head. It felt like my thoughts from one end of the brain were't able to reach to the otherside and it caused a lot of conflict, specially when it came to having fun. However hard I tried, I couldn't make myself cross that limit and have fun without actually trying to understand what I was doing. Well anyway, I spent my first two days at the hostel unpacking and getting to know others on the floor. Not many were as enthusiatic as me it turned out to come back to the college on the very first day of the semester. I wasn't assigned a room partner, so I was all by myself till then. The whole room to me. The whole matchbox, as my roommate put in, when he arrived on the third day. I call it the D day, as in that dreadful day. Maybe it was beginners luck or something of the sort I guess. First two days at the hostel, all by myself. Just when i was getting used to living life without thresholds, without limits, which meant no one to wake me up in the morning or for that matter, make me go to sleep. And it was as if God said," thats that". And then the nightmare began. Well, I dont think it would be right I guess, calling my roommate a nightmare, because he was as scary during the day too. He sounded fine when I talked to him on the 2nd night. He had called, asking me to be at the room next morning, as he was coming and he wasn't given the key to the room as yet. He called me 'dude', which no one else had. I was happy, I always imagined I'd have the most fun if I will be friends with the happening kind of guys. And he sounded like he was, and to be frank he actually was, but for all the wrong reasons. Anyway, he arrived a good couple of hours late because of which i missed my breakfast. I was on the stariway when he arrived. He looked good, tall and all. Broad shoulders, wavy hair, smiling face. He looked good. I mean, he was the kind who could be popular, with girls, with guys, lecturers, u name it. Two thoughts came to my mind. " Face is the index to the personality" and "Never judge a person by his looks". I am generally a optimist, so i decided to go with the first one. 20 mins later, I had to change my mind. Anyway, very politely he asked me if I could carry one of his bags. I said ofcourse I could and he handed me the heavier of the two. My favourite song is " Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zepplin. I'm thinking of writing a song nowadays, on the same lines. I want to call it "Stairway to Hell". Life got awful on the very first day. He talked, no no, he blabberd. He always talked. He talked on the phone, he talked to me, he talked to other guys on the floor, he talked to the watchman through the windows. Ofcourse he had to shout while talking to the watchman, but it didn't look like he minded. I, for one actually doubted that he had a mind though. He was non-stop. He was like this 24/7 radio station that I thought I hated when I was in my parents house. He was worse. And all he talked about was himself. Me this, me that. He thought he was like Micheal Jackson's Smooth Criminal. He thought he was Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Pierce Brosnan together. He also thought he was Newton, Einstein and Hawking. I never felt he was any of these, he just kept telling everyone he was. I just thought of him as a self centerd asshole. 4 days into my life and he made me beleive I was good for nothing. He made fun of my girlfriend, he made fun of me, he made fun of anything and everything that in any possible way could be related to me. I laughed at his jokes sometimes, but most of the time I felt bad. I told him calmly at first and then after a while, I had to shout to make my point stand out between his blabbering and his laughing. Ooh his laughing. I hated it the most. When he laughed, it always felt as if someone was trying to reach for my intestine, so that they can pull it out and wrap it around my neck and hang me by the fan. Well, its pretty much the gist of it. There was a lot more I felt, which I think would qualify for unspeakable. He also had this wierd look. He had this quiver look whenever he looked at him. His mouth would be doing its job, but his eyes would suggest he was trying to say something else. At first I thought he was gay, but then he assured me he was straight. In his words, it was " i fuk girls, u'd think i'd fuk u??? u pathetic loser". He always refered to me as 'the pathetic loser'. Whenever I tried to make him lose the habit, he added 'piece of shit' to it. So after a while I stopped, tryin to get him to stop calling me that. Anyway, what he said didn't really matter after the 4th day, because i had already learnt not to listen. He didn't have any bad habits really. He didn't drink, he didn't smoke, no drugs nothing. Though there were times I really wished he did drink, so he'd sleep peacefully and so would I. I had this fight with him on the 5th day. He had a nickname too which ofcourse he made up for himself. He wanted everyone to call him by that. He called himself that too. He somehow referred to himself in 3rd person, which scared me sometimes. He called himself " my parents 2nd biggest mistake". I felt very irritated when he called himself that, so on the 5th day, I told him how I felt about it. The next thing I knew, he flung himself from the corner he was in to the corner I was sitting in the small, saddistic room of ours. He knocked me over with an elbow to my stomach and a kick to my crotch. Punched me thrice till I pleaded " 2nd biggest mistake of your parents, stop please". Actually, he didn't really look strong and all, but I had read somewhere about power of insane people. I never tried to analyse about the fight too much, I always had a new problem thanks to my roommate. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i wanted to describe myself, but i'm not very good at that. so i'm attaching the above pages. these are the first three pages of my previous roommates diary. i am looking for a new room partner. anyone who thinks can understand me, apply at 'coolseaguy@yahoo.com' |W|P|110786595916638565|W|P|Fiction 1|W|P|sakkiraju@gmail.com